Met with the the Kaiser Tumor Board on Christmas Eve.
A team of 7 or 8 radiology oncologists headed by a Dr. Lien looked down Hugh's throat, up his nose, thru his hair at his scalp.
Then they deliberated. They were meeting with a lot of patients and their families that day -- which was a very long one.
The verdict was what Doc Dansko predicted: 6 weeks of radiology, 3 chemo treatments. Without which things would get very ugly and painful. Doc Lien said that if the lymph node reacts well to the radiation and chemo, Hugh's chances of recovery are 80 or 90 percent. IF. But Hugh liked hearing that. If it doesn't, surgery and more C&R.
Hugh keeps vacillating and talking about possibly checking out, saying, about the upcoming pain and suffering, that he's such a sissy, he can't even stand the thought of it. I said that maybe this is one of his last life lessons (easy for ME to say), and I handed him Stephen Levine's "Who Dies." Which he likes. He's also been reading Marcus Aurelius who was basically a stoic. And he LOVES Marcus Aurelius. We did look at a video about alternative cancer treatments and I did read Suzanne Somers's book, but there is so much mumbo jumbo quackery mixed up with some intelligent discussions. AND none of the doctors ever mentions the kind of cancer Hugh has.
I spoke with my dear old friend M__ who had a cancer, the same kind Hugh has, in her mouth. She said she interviewed 19 doctors, so unwilling was she to go through radiation and chemo. All 19 doctors agreed, tho. So she did go thru with it. Possibly later than was best. She was clear, and then it came back. So surgery and more radiation. She's been fine for six months but does talk about the loss of salivary function, taste. She didn't have to have a feeding tube in her stomach, tho.
Hugh's daughter's husband has leukemia and many in his family have cancer. She says, when they sit down to the table together they all ask, "How's your cancer?" And nobody feels sorry for you unless it's REALLY bad. Hugh said that makes him feel that if he WERE to check out, it'd be really embarrassing. "They'd all sneer and say, 'What a punk.'"
John (Hugh's oldest friend in the world) came down from Petaluma to stay with Hugh for a while. He's using my old pro juicer (the one I used to cure Art's arthritis (no sugar! tho cocaine and methodone were allowed! accupuncture, coffee enemas and a carrot juice fast 3 weeks) to make Hugh healthy drinks, using Hemp protein and various things. It's wonderful having John here. Doc Lien said Hugh needed to bulk up since he'd soon be losing lots of weight. The doc said, "Just eat a lot of junk food. Have a good time." We both just smiled. John is making Hugh gain weight without junk food, and I'm trying to keep making him take walks. (Doc Lien said exercise was unimportant.)
On Christmas day I celebrated with Emily and Randy and Ryland and Jed and Mirandi and Alan and Evie. Hugh stayed home with John. Mirandi and Evie are my dear cousins, still, even tho they have become republicans, and we all grew up with Emily who's an absolute angel of sweetness and black humor and cooking and keeps such a cozy big ol house. She once acknowledged that her role model was my sainted Aunt Mae. And we've known Ryland and Jed since they were babies.
Emily and Randy told me about this herbalist (and acupuncturist) in Santa Barbara, Doc Han & I ordered and am reading his book which is very sensible and readable. So We made an appointment with him and hope he can help Hugh endure the R&C and not suffer too much. And get better.
Love & kisses, L.
