This is about Hugh, and I think that's mainly what this blog will be about from now on.
This particular post needs to be read from top to bottom, since I'm importing email text from my mail program, so that the whole story is right here, so Hugh's friends can read it.
The story starts in Nov. 2009
November 25th*
figure the best way to share this info is just to share it and get it over with. Hugh had a lump on his neck which has finally been diagnosed as a metastasized squamous cell carcinoma.
As far as I'm concerned, it's just one day at a time, now, and that's always been Hugh's M.O., although of course he was devastated initially.
He's busy with projects around the house and his pets, Lizzie Eustace (the ferret), Louis (the Love Bunny), Bobby, Marie, Spike, et al (canaries).
I'm more than ever realizing how deeply I love him. And I'm in total denial, which is the best place for me right now.
He's having a minor surgery next week to try to discover where the cancer originates.
I'll keep you up to date. I love you all.
He's having a minor surgery next week to try to discover where the cancer originates.
I'll keep you up to date. I love you all.
12/5
Hugh's Doc called me the moment he got out of surgery (it was hours and hours and I had to run home and pay the guy who's repairing our driveway)
and said:
"Well, we have to wait for the pathologist's report, but all I found was a very small cancer on one tonsil. I removed both tonsils and took biopsy samples from the larynx." Turned out there was no cancer on the tonsils.
I had already asked the doctor about the involvement of the lymph node. (He's young, his name is Levy, and he wears Danskos, and he's so gentle and sweet, wears no wedding ring; I think he's gay.) Anyway, I said that I thought that when the lymph node got involved, the cancer would spread to other parts of the body. He said not in this case. I still don't understand what he told me about how some cancers spread through the blood stream and some thru the lymph, but he did say that this kind of cancer doesn't spread that way.
Hugh was nauseous and miserable all night after the surgery (because he'd swallowed so much blood during the surgery and/or because they gave him three different kinds of knock-out drugs.) Today (12/5) he got up and cleaned the animals cages and fed them and took his antibiotics, etc. He's a little woozy because he did manage to finagle some serious pain medication, but he's basically, so far, on the mend.
We're waiting for the pathology report and the results of the PET scan.
And then, and then the consultation with the "tumor board."
12/7
Today we saw the doctor.
The PET scan showed no cancer anywhere besides the lymph node, not even on the inflamed tonsil which was removed.
The pathologist found no cancer anywhere except in the lymph node. And the surgeon said, "I really went to town on you, took biopsies from everywhere. And... nothing."
So it is a stage 3 cancer (because of node involvement) with "an unknown primary."
Meaning that the origin is so small they can't see it or that it's gotten better or...
The lymph node, however is a problem. Because eventually, it CAN spread from there.
Doc Dansko thinks that the tumor board will suggest daily radiation and chemo for a six week period.
After that, the doc says, there's a very good chance of complete recovery. It all depends on what the lymph node does.
He said that their head-and-neck cancer guy is really good. His name is McNichols.
Hugh, whose hearing isn't great, asked, "McChrystal?"
The doc and I, laughing, said, no no!
Hugh said, "Whew. I was scared."
love and kisses, L.
12/7
I've been reading more stuff on cancer forum sites that have discussion boards for every kind of cancer known to man.
People support each other and post problems and experiences.
So, my readings indicate that Hugh's (so-far) happy report doesn't protect him from the radiation and chemo to come.
Also, according to the people writing on those boards, the cancer CAN return and spread to other parts of the body.
Many people can no longer salivate after treatment and taste buds go away, returning only years later.
Most of their reports are doggedly upbeat, sometimes inspiringly serene. But I'm not telling any of this to Hugh. I tell him, "don't do any research, the pictures will scare the shit out of you."
I have to take a break from that reading. It depresses me. Now is GOOD. I like NOW. And I plan to keep on liking it.
Hugh's Doc called me the moment he got out of surgery (it was hours and hours and I had to run home and pay the guy who's repairing our driveway)
and said:
"Well, we have to wait for the pathologist's report, but all I found was a very small cancer on one tonsil. I removed both tonsils and took biopsy samples from the larynx." Turned out there was no cancer on the tonsils.
I had already asked the doctor about the involvement of the lymph node. (He's young, his name is Levy, and he wears Danskos, and he's so gentle and sweet, wears no wedding ring; I think he's gay.) Anyway, I said that I thought that when the lymph node got involved, the cancer would spread to other parts of the body. He said not in this case. I still don't understand what he told me about how some cancers spread through the blood stream and some thru the lymph, but he did say that this kind of cancer doesn't spread that way.
Hugh was nauseous and miserable all night after the surgery (because he'd swallowed so much blood during the surgery and/or because they gave him three different kinds of knock-out drugs.) Today (12/5) he got up and cleaned the animals cages and fed them and took his antibiotics, etc. He's a little woozy because he did manage to finagle some serious pain medication, but he's basically, so far, on the mend.
We're waiting for the pathology report and the results of the PET scan.
And then, and then the consultation with the "tumor board."
12/7
Today we saw the doctor.
The PET scan showed no cancer anywhere besides the lymph node, not even on the inflamed tonsil which was removed.
The pathologist found no cancer anywhere except in the lymph node. And the surgeon said, "I really went to town on you, took biopsies from everywhere. And... nothing."
So it is a stage 3 cancer (because of node involvement) with "an unknown primary."
Meaning that the origin is so small they can't see it or that it's gotten better or...
The lymph node, however is a problem. Because eventually, it CAN spread from there.
Doc Dansko thinks that the tumor board will suggest daily radiation and chemo for a six week period.
After that, the doc says, there's a very good chance of complete recovery. It all depends on what the lymph node does.
He said that their head-and-neck cancer guy is really good. His name is McNichols.
Hugh, whose hearing isn't great, asked, "McChrystal?"
The doc and I, laughing, said, no no!
Hugh said, "Whew. I was scared."
love and kisses, L.
12/7
I've been reading more stuff on cancer forum sites that have discussion boards for every kind of cancer known to man.
People support each other and post problems and experiences.
So, my readings indicate that Hugh's (so-far) happy report doesn't protect him from the radiation and chemo to come.
Also, according to the people writing on those boards, the cancer CAN return and spread to other parts of the body.
Many people can no longer salivate after treatment and taste buds go away, returning only years later.
Most of their reports are doggedly upbeat, sometimes inspiringly serene. But I'm not telling any of this to Hugh. I tell him, "don't do any research, the pictures will scare the shit out of you."
I have to take a break from that reading. It depresses me. Now is GOOD. I like NOW. And I plan to keep on liking it.
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